Solitaire

It's interesting. I live in this little world of one. I'll be seeing friends soon, yet when I do it will be infrequently. I instant message and email often. Occasionally there is a phone conversation. But for the most part, this is a little universe of one, hours and days and weeks stretching out alone and in relative quiet. I've only ever experienced this once before in my entire life and it was 15 minutes from here, 6 years ago. Of all the places I have travelled across the country, the places I've lived and the things I've been involved in, I am back a short distance from where I was under very similar circumstances and I'm almost completely alone.

Thankfully, I know how to live a life like this and I also know that this situation will not last. I'll move, or I'll become involved with someone or something, or I'll have a roommate, and this universe will expand and change. So for now, I look at myself as on an island and I wake up each day and go about island life. I cut down bamboo. I hunt for food. I stroll along beaches. Sometimes my skin positively itches off and I end up losing sleep for weeks at a time. And somtimes I fall into a sense of groundlessness. Eventually, I'll hollow out a canoe and sail out to the mainland and look back on this time from a greater distance.

I've also come to realize that the teens that are the friends of the teen boy that live in this building loathe me. They don't just hate me, they LOOAAAATHE me the way that teen boys and girls decide to LOAAAATTHE somebody just because. But they seem to do it like one might loathe an axe-murderer, it is loathing that is very careful and a bit threatened. They really hate it when I say hello to them. So, I try to go out of my way to do so every chance I get.

Last night was an amazing night writingwise, probably the best movement I've had in years creatively. Thank you, Mick.