Duty (Doody)

I've realized that in my spare time, I am a cat poop farmer.

I provide the raw materials that go into the cat, make sure that they are nicely mashed to aid in cat intake. Then, I allow the raw materials to ferment. This includes two steps. First, I faciliate a light exercise program for the cat, a hunt and pounce regimen usually involving a stuffed mouse, piece of twist tie, or the end of a pen. After completing the exercise program, the cat retreats to one of a number of soft, cushiony areas I fluff and sweep clean of cat hair biweekly. Occasionally, I stroke the cat to assist in the onset of cat slumber. Now thoroughly asleep, the raw materials can settle and form into their final product.

When the final product has completed it's formation, the cat will automatically arise and seek out one of two cat poop repositories I have purchased and filled with a sandy-like substance meant to futher solidify and refine the finished output. A few weeks of gentle training during the early stages of cat life will ensure that the cat knows exactly what he is looking for and where to find it. After a few moments of squatting, the cat will finish producing output and will cover the final product with the sandy-substance. This completes the processing.

Every other day, I retrieve my kit of tools and journey to the cat poop repositories. There I collect the cat poop from the sandy ground, harvesting clumps of product that is collected in a receptacle. Refilling each repository, I return to the first step and continue to feed the cat raw materials again.